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Thursday, May 16, 2019

Archive 2 - Negativity, is it okay?


بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful


Assalamualaikum, [someone].

Ramadhan Mubarak, sister! Alhamdullillah. :) How's your tadarus class? Anytime later, you can share with me la what you got from that class, can ah? (why sound so Chinese.. i don't know, haha)

By the way, make sure you stay hydrated even though it's Ramadhan. Like what Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar said to his daughters, 2-4-2! 2 glasses of plain water during sahur, 4 glasses after you break your fast, and another 2 glasses before you go to sleep! Hehe.

Moving on to the content.

So yesterday, I messaged someone to have a great day and stay positive. However, as soon as I hit the 'send' button, I asked myself "Do we really need to stay positive? Why negativity is like not allowed at all in our lives?". Frequently, speakers actively promote positive thinking, looking from the bright side, eliminating negative thoughts, as if negative feelings are unimportant. And I think that's actually not really true.

That's the moment I realise that actually, in order to balance ourselves, it is okay to be negative sometimes.

In a study called “States of Mind Model,” University of Pittsburgh researchers Robert Schwartz and Gregory Garamoni explored positive and negative thinking as it relates to anxiety, depression, and stress. While too much negative inner dialogue can bring about depression and panic, the pair found that a “golden section”–two-thirds positive and one-third negative–is the healthiest state of mind.
“Although increased positivity may be immediately reinforcing, in the long run threatening events may go unnoticed leaving the individual vulnerable to danger,” they write. 
Ignoring and suppressing negative thoughts are actually not good as blocking them will not make them disappear, but they will pile up, and worse,  they might burst someday. Hence, you should acknowledge your negative feelings and figure out what to do to fix it. Positive thinking is good, but that doesn't mean we should eliminate/neglect our negative thinking.

Positive people might be good at fixing things, but negative people are good at telling them what needs fixing.  

As an analogy, when you see a child cries, you shouldn't immediately give a candy (Although it sounds like a good idea, but I think this action missed one step). We should ask what happened, listen to him/her, comfort him/her, and suggest any solution if there's any. Only then the child will feel better and relieved at the same time. The grief does not stay bottled anymore. Now, imagine the child as  your  emotion. 

In the end, you are the one who can control what you feel, what you think, what you do, and what you say. Balance yourself, and keep a healthy mental lifestyle.

May Allah bless :) Jumaat Mubarak!

Love and salam,
Ai.

Asif jiddan 'ala kulli hal.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Archive 1 - Not really a love letter, but yeah

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
 In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Assalamualaikum, [someone].
Kaifa haaluk? Hahah I'm sorry, I always have this sort of "don't-know-what-to-write" when I'm writing introductions.
Before that, as we know, we will meet soon (In shaa Allah) the day after tomorrow at PWTC. May Allah bless our meeting. Aamiin.
So, today I'm going to talk about how to break a bad habit. Habit is something that we find it really hard to make it stop. It feels like you're trying to stop a big rock (bigger than you) that are rolling down the hill. The inertia game is just too strong. Hence, I'm here trying to list down what you should do to curb this problem (standing confidently while wearing a cape.. with a fan level 3 in front of me).
1. Create a habit tracker
Yeah, I know I already suggested this idea to you. But I'm gonna write this again anyway. Eheh. This habit tracker, it does not need to be very colourful and full of creativity. It just requires an organised table and a good consistency (to mark it daily, and to stay being a good girl by obeying the tracker). 
To start following this tracker may be hard, but if you manage to maintain a good performance, in shaa Allah, "alah bisa tegal biasa". :) Different people face different challenges throughout the journey in maintaining a good consistency (istiqamah), so, may Allah ease yours and grant the best result for 'ya. 
An attempt is always better than absolute absence.
2. Self-reward system
Sometimes, we just feel too lazy to do something we should. So, this system might help. By encouraging yourself to do something and then treat yourself with something you like in return, the happiness would be doubled (for achieving and being rewarded, haha). 
For example, if you manage to drink 3 L of plain water per day, you will reward yourself with an ice cream. Ah, what kind of joy is that, when you could taste the tasty ice cream after all the efforts you did to reach your target. You can say byebye to your lazy self that said "this is imposibleeeee". 
When your mind believes, your body will achieve.
3. Punishment system
Haa, you already feel happy when you could achieve your goal, but what if the old bad habit keeps on "flirting" you to defy your own target? This is where you should punish yourself... in a good way! 
Nani??
Chill chill, I will give you an instance. Let's say you're planning to challenge yourself to fast every Monday and Thursday (unless you're in A.B.C. - Allah bagi cuti mode). So, every time you are not fasting on the day, you need to donate RM5 at musollas nearby. It's like a fine, but also it's a good deed, actually, right?
Ala, it's like "killing two birds with one stone". But killing birds isn't a good thing.
Alright, seems like we already reach the end of my first "love letter" to you. I'm sorry that my topic and suggestions sound so so so cliche huhuhu but I hope this would help you " sedikit sebanyak". Thank you for reading until the end. HEHE.
May Allah bless :)
Love and salam,
Ai.
p/s: Don't forget to read kahfi! I'm sure that you read already by the time you read this email, eheh.

Asif jiddan 'ala kulli hal.